Funny Sayings and Quotes

Fun and Humor plays a very important job in energizing human brain specially in today's tense living where each person is as busy as ever. People are so worried that they forget to laugh and even a smallest roadblock sends them into fits of rage. In such time, when everyone is so stressed, Funny sayings can help you sail through grave moments with a dash of zest and humor and pass smile to everyone's face. It's a great way to let people know how you feel and make them laugh at the same time. It not only makes everybody happy, but also helps you forget the daily anxiety of your life.

There are so many websites on internet, offered funny sayings. Here are few of my favorite funny sayings coated with humor by famous authors which I have collected from various resources. Feel free to use them when you really want to drive a message .You can also send them to your friends via SMS/Text Messages.

Life is what happens when you plan to do other things - John Lennon
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die - Unknown
The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do. - Ted Nelson
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Behind every successful woman… is a basket of dirty laundry. - Sally Forth
If American politics are too dirty for women to take part in, there’s something wrong with American politics. - Edna Ferber
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. - George Carlin
Sex was the most fun I ever had without laughing. - Woody Allen
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of. - Burt Bacharach
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely. - Anonymous
Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy. - Gary Busey
Bowling balls are like whores, you pick them up and finger them, throw them into the gutter, and they come back for more. - Anonymous
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde
An apple a day keeps the docter away, but if the doctors cute screw the fruit. - Anonymous